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Confession time: my bf doesn't know I'm a sugar baby

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  • Confession time: my bf doesn't know I'm a sugar baby

    So I started sugaring recently. I had heard about it on some online article and saw that students were using it to help them pay for school which was great. I did more research on it and wanted to try it out for myself. But like it was a lot harder than I thought and now that I have a sugar daddy I'm feeling really guilty about it. The thing is...I have a boyfriend that I've been with for 2 years. We dated in high school but moved to different cities for school but we never actually broke up. We promised each other that we would be together and that if we ever wanted to break up or found someone else then we would tell each other first. We talk all the time and visit each other whenever we have breaks but I haven't told him that I'm dating someone else either...I feel really bad for lying to him but I really really need the money and I like hanging out with my sugar daddy too. What should I do? Do I tell him or just keep it to myself?

  • #2
    I think we've all been in this type of situation before. I have a boyfriend too although we weren't dating exclusively when I first met my sd we are now. At the time I was dating the two of them and trying to spread my time equally. Obviously I didn't tell my bf that I was a sugar baby until I was sure that we were going to be serious. It was hard to tell him about being a sugar baby since I thought he would be really grossed out or even say that it was cheating but I think he understands better now. At the time we did get into lots of fights about it where he wanted me to quit but once I explained myself and told him that I cared about my sugar daddy too. It's like an open relationship but also has many added perks to it and one of them is that I can use the money to spoil my bf a little. My sd doesn't mind either since he has a wife. I don't think that you should feel guilty about having a bf but maybe lying about it isn't the best way?

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    • #3
      Are you planning on telling him that you are a sugar baby? If you aren't planning on telling him then I don't really see a problem with it. The 10,000 mile rule or the state rule applies here. Heard about that one? That means that if you are far enough away from your boyfriend then it doesn't count. At least twice in my dating life I have dated 2 guys at the same time and at least one of those was a sugar daddy. I didn't see a problem with it since there was no chance of either of them finding out. If you boyfriend likes to surprise you then you should just tell him that you're busy and that planning your dates is easier

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      • #4
        Yeah if you are worried about them finding out then I can see why you'd be feeling the way that you do but otherwise I don't think it's a big problem. I know that you're worried about your boyfriend finding out so maybe you should just tell him. It might help you feel less guilty and not like you're hiding secrets from him. But I really don't think that you have to either

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        • #5
          I feel like I am cheating on my boyfriend by being with my sugar daddy though. I know that I shouldn't really but I can't help it. I still really love my boyrfriend and want our relationship but it feels like it's impossible to do it the way that it is now. What should I do?

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          • BohoKween
            BohoKween commented
            Editing a comment
            You feel like you're cheating?? Cause honey, you ARE.

        • #6
          Can I step in here? I wanted to reply earlier but I missed my chance lol I think that you can have both here. Nobody is making you choose between your boyfriend or your sugar daddy. You said it yourself that your boyfriend is long distance so it's easy to keep it from him if you have to. As long as you figure out the timeline then you can keep your boyfriend from ever finding out. Nobody says that you are going to stay with either of them forever so there's no reason to really rock the boat or damage your relationships if you don't have to. I think that you need to just figure out how to make it work with both of them. You can do that if you schedule the time together. Also, I'm sorry but if you really loved your boyfriend and felt that way about him then you never would've been a sugar baby in the first place. You know what that means and what that would mean for yoru relationship

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          • #7
            What if my boyfriend shows up for a surprise visit? Or what if my sugar daddy takes me on a vacation what do I tell my boyfriend?

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            • LZA
              LZA commented
              Editing a comment
              Oh man, just loving the topic, keeps me checking for new messages every morning. Good read.

          • #8
            I mean that could happen in any situation too. You can also do some things to make it easier for that not to happen. It just takes really good time management skills. When you find an SD who will take care of you and who is serious about you then you can definitely live your life that way

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            • #9
              I don't know..it seems like you're feeling really guilty about this when you don't have to. I think that you just need to relax and stop worrying about it or you're not going to be having a very good time as a sugar baby

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              • #10
                If you're feeling guilty that you have a sugar daddy, then you have to choose which one is more important for you. Your boyfriend or your sugar daddy

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                • #11
                  You need to choose between the two of them soon before your boyfriend finds out that you have a sugar daddy. Does your sugar daddy know that you have a boyfriend?

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                  • #12
                    No honesty in a relationship is not a relationship. Same goes with loyalty

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                    • KittyBush
                      KittyBush commented
                      Editing a comment
                      So what does she need to do? End things with his daddy or with his boyfriend?

                    • SugahBaby
                      SugahBaby commented
                      Editing a comment
                      end it or tell his bf

                  • #13
                    Originally posted by NotoriousMOM View Post
                    If you're feeling guilty that you have a sugar daddy, then you have to choose which one is more important for you. Your boyfriend or your sugar daddy
                    She's right and you can tell him the reason why you have a sugar daddy. But I think that he wouldn't understand your reason in having a sugar daddy

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                    • SashaBangs
                      SashaBangs commented
                      Editing a comment
                      I dont agree with you on the daddy issues part, it's a common misconception that women will date older men cause of daddy issues but i think it's not the case here

                    • NotoriousMOM
                      NotoriousMOM commented
                      Editing a comment
                      I dont think that's her case, it's just that not everybody is open-minded about this kind of stuff and her bf could make assumptions

                    • SashaBangs
                      SashaBangs commented
                      Editing a comment
                      I guess that's one way of looking at it

                  • #14
                    Confession, all of my exes don't know i'm into this kind of lifestyle

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                    • IzzySteezy
                      IzzySteezy commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Good for you that your exes didn't find that out

                    • Biggie
                      Biggie commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Yeah, I was quite lucky that I wasn't caught and I've told my babies that they should ignore me if we ever crossed paths with each other in public while I'm with my girl

                    • GoGo
                      GoGo commented
                      Editing a comment
                      You made sure that there untoward incidents when it comes to your girl and babies, then

                  • #15
                    I have told a soul about the sugar baby life and I probably never will. It's something I will take to my grave

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                    • LowLa
                      LowLa commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Why is that you're not telling anyone that you know that you're a sugar baby?

                    • DikeM
                      DikeM commented
                      Editing a comment
                      Oh honey for a lot of reasons, first is i dont want anyone i know to find out, i dont wanna be gossiped at, the judgment im gonna get and they're gonna think i make a lot of money and might ask me for some
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